Why Can’t We Be Friends?

During my sophomore year of college, I walked to my science class and met a pretty girl named Crista. I kept taking that route to make sure I’d see her every Tuesday/Thursday.

Think back to how you met a good friend, significant other, or spouse. How did you first come into contact with them? How did that relationship begin and thrive?

The number one factor in how a relationship begins, continues, and flourishes is proximity. We would like to think it’s similarity, responsiveness, or a spiritual connection. (Those all play a part, but they’re not the way relationships begin.)

Now, think about the friend you promised to keep in touch with but haven’t. Or the good friends who live in the same town as you, yet you haven’t maintained the relationship. The most prominent factor? Proximity.

How relationships begin, continue, and persist—it all comes down to proximity. Yes, some marriages exist in close proximity but do not thrive. Still, proximity is a baseline factor.

Think about your proximity to your phone. Very few people are satisfied with their relationship with their phone. And yet, we do not distance ourselves from it. Most of us actually allow our phones to literally touch us all day. Whether in our pocket or through the proxy of an Apple Watch, our phones are constantly in contact with us.

(I’ve used my phone extensively while hiking, and I think about how convenient the AllTrails app is—yet how ridiculous it feels to constantly reference my phone while standing on a mountain.)

What if the first step toward digital health is just a little distance between you and your phone? No drastic steps, just a mindful forgetting of where it is.

Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@victorbrd